


To Be A Hero (Starring Dexter Grif)

by FanficNinja



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-11-16 01:24:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11243382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanficNinja/pseuds/FanficNinja
Summary: Grif thought he was going to be a hero. Getting on a ship, off to save his friends. Even though that's not what happened, he can still become one after abandoning, dooming and emotionally breaking his friends... right?Probably not. But that doesn't mean he can't try!





	1. Step One, Save All Of Your Friends Asses! (Nearly All Of Them Are Fucking Dead!?!)

Grif thought he was going to be a hero. Getting on a ship, off to save his friends. But, when he arrived... he was quickly aware he was far from a hero. He was just the first to witness the carnage. All of the hopes he had of reuniting with his friends vanished in an instant and his breathing quickly elevated. He dropped of his gun. He didn't care if he was attacked. If anything, he deserved it.

He walked on.

Coloured armor covered the floor. Though it seemed familiar, none of it was of the soldiers he was friends with. That was until he got to a certain point. Aqua armor. He knelt down and inspected it. He had seen aqua armor earliar, but that wasn't Tucker. Maybe... this was..? He shuddered when he took off the helmet. He was greeted by dark skin and brown hair. Tuckers eyes were closed. Lifeless. It appeared like he had starved to death. Grif flinched at the thought.

"F-fuck..." Grif bit his lip and looked away. He covered his mouth in case he vomited.

As much as he hated it, this was reminding him of his old colony. The rotting corpses, just waking up and finding them everywhere. It was horrible. But, this was worse. At the old colony, everyone were jerks. Majority of them weren't nice people and bullied the rookies with offensive jokes and insensitive topics. There were very few that Grif actually cared about. Even though he did care about those few a _lot,_ everyone here _was_ his friend. _Everyone._ The only exception being Simmons, but that was because they weren't _exactly_ friends but-but... Grif tried not to think about it. Whatever they were, it didn't matter. Because whatever they were... he had thrown it away.

Grif shook his head and kept going. He passed red and purple armor. He checked them both. Doc and Sarge. He wanted to question why Doc was even there, but all he could do was mourn over him. He remembered Doc talking about going back to school and perhaps becoming a better medic. Grif had shrugged it off at the time. Stating he didn't understand what was the point in going back to school after escaping it. Doc had merely glared at him. Back then, Grif thought it was stupid. Heck, he  _still_ felt that way. What was the point, y'know? But he wished Doc still accomplished that dream. Now, he never could.

As for Sarge, Grif was much more conflicted. Everyone thought he hated him, but to be honest Grif saw Sarge as a father figure. Much like Simmons but less obvious about it. He was pretty sure Sarge cared about him too. Just a little bit, maybe. Sarge still had his shotgun in hand. His finger just over the trigger. It was like a statue. But a much more... disturbing kind. It was like he had been frozen in time. Grif didn't understand.

"Is the scary doctor and pirate captain okay?" Grif visibly shook. He turned around. It was Caboose. Alive and well. His helmet was off revealing swirly, cute brown locks. Grif couldn't say anything. He just stood up slowly and charged at Caboose. It ended with Grif hugging the man, sobbing into his shoulders. "Grif, are you okay? I'm scared. Tucker won't move..." Caboose said weakly. "The others won't aswell. But i uh, need to know where Donut is!"

"Why Donut? But uh, Caboose, what-" Grif paused. "Oh right" _What was he doing_? Grif scolded himself. Caboose was like a child. A kid. Out of everyone here who needed comforting, he did. Certainly not Grif. He had just gotten here. With a deep breath, Grif rested his hands on Caboose's shoulders. "Caboose..." He began. "Is anyone besides you, still alive?"

Cabooses eyes looked towards the floor. "I don't know" He answered, sniffling.

Grif sighed. "That's-y'know what? Fuck it. That's okay. Let's just look around for the others. See if anyones fine. But, Caboose. Can you tell me what happened?" He asked.

Caboose nodded. "Um, we found these people that were just like us... and they claimed to be our friend. But then they hurt Wash and Carolina. Tucker got mad. He charged at them and their Church clicked a button. Then Tucker said he couldn't move. The pirate tried to get them but he got shot too and Doc told us all too run while he tried talking with the blues and reds-"

"Blues and reds?" Grif blinked.

"Yes" Caboose took deep breaths. "Thats what the people just like _us,_ were called"

"Oh" Grif gulped. "Okay. _Then_ what happened?"

"We all ran away" Caboose smiled. "It was like hide and seek! I wen't over to the closet, over there!" Caboose pointed over to a nearby closet. The door was wide open. "They found me. They clicked the button, so i played dead. They didn't come back though. I thought they forgot about me... so i left my hiding spot and saw their Church getting on a ship and leaving" Caboose told. "But, he _wasn't_ a Church"

"What makes you say that?" Grif questioned

"He hurt his friends. The ones that made mistakes. I heard them from inside the closet" He informed.

"Right" Grif said through gritted teeth. Something told Grif he wouldn't like ' _their Church_ ' very much. He began walking around followed by a curious and far too innocent Caboose. Grif came to pink armor. He held back tears at the sight. Donut. He was like Grif's little brother. Seeing him like this-it was just... _terrifying_. Fortunately, unlike all the other bodies that scattered the base, this once moved. Grif heard Donuts body squirm against his armor. "Donut? Holy shit! Are you okay?"

"G-Grif..? Is that you..?" Donut asked slowly. Grif was overswept with relief and he took off Donuts helmet. The younger man was struggling to breathe and looked pale. Grif suddenly realised the problem. Armor lock. When it hit him, Grif started fumbling with Donuts armor for a release button. Luckily, he found one almost straight after. He pressed it. Donut got up stifly and looked around. He dug his head into his knees. "What..? I need to..."

Thankfully for Donut, Grif didn't need to hear what he had to say by the time he already completed the action. He handed Donut atleast two Oreo's. He'd give the blonde more, but Grif was saving the other two for Simmons. Donut nibbled on the first Oreo before swallowing it cautiously. After doing so, he ate the other one hole. He seemed extremely hungry. "T-Thanks Grif" Donut gave him a genuine smile. Grif smiled back. "Wait... why'd you come back?"

Grif stiffened. _To save the day. To be a hero. To get his family back._ Grif choked on his words before finally settling on some. "I just came to get Sarge. He, uh... Left with my Oreo's?" Grif lied.

Donut frowned. "Oh. Well, if it matters or anything, _we_ missed you" He said through gritted teeth. He stood up slowly before dropping to his knees. Caboose rushed to aid him. Grif just watched, confused. Donut sounded mad. It was an emotion Grif had hardly heard the blonde use. Especially in such a disgruntled tone. "Where's Lopez?" Donut asked tiredly. Grif didn't answer. After all, he hadn't seen the robot since he had arrived.

"Oh! I know!" Caboose suddenly proclaimed. "He was looking for you!"

"He was?" Donut seemed kind of flattered.

"Yes! That is why i asked Grif earliar where you were..." He explained. "The scary robot said he would un-alive me if i did not help him find you" Grif raised an eyebrow. _Un-alive?_

"Aw, he is such a sweetie!" Donut complimented. "Where'd you see him las-"

"I can't believe Temple just left like that. Wants us to take care of those idiots!" The trio heard someone eerily similair to Sarge state. Donut and Cabooses mouthes dropped open. They grabbed Grif and pulled him into one of the nearby closets and shut the door. "I mean, I know ah' have to serve 'em. Hes our commanding officer after all! So i'll do it but-man, he really needs ta' forget about Biff..."

"Biff?-What, i don't... whats the big fucking idea?" Grif muttered coldly. "Is that Sarge? Why'd you push us into a closet? Donut, Caboos-"

"Grif!" Donut shushed him. "Be quiet!" There was utter panick in his voice. Grif closed his mouth and stopped talking. Even Caboose was scared.

"Did ya hear that?" Grif heard the Sarge-like voice question.

"No, i heard nothing. Unless that is what we are trying to hear. Surge, are we looking out for nothing?" Grif turned sharply to face Caboose but was surprised to see it wasn't him talking. Weird. Grif could've _sworn_ that was Cabooses voice.

"No, you idiot. Just keep looking" The voice (now known to Grif as 'Surge') spoke. "We gotta find 'em"

"Okay!" The second spoke again, shockingly happy.

The two stayed silent after that. Everytime Grif tried to talk, Donut nudged him in his side. Apparently they were still there. Just being quiet to not alert anyone of their presence. Grif hated the awkwardness. Eventually, Donut and Caboose had their ears prepped up against the closets door; leaving Grif all by himself in the back. He hated the isolation. He had bad memories with closets. Ever since the Temple it just struck a nerve with him.

_"We are never **ever** talking about this again, okay Simmons?"_

_"But-you see... Grif, i uh-actually-"_

_"Never again" Grif clenched his fists._

_"R-right"_

He shook at the memory. He had said that, but he wished he hadn't. Especially due to the fact of how distraught Simmons had been by the end of it. It wasn't like he was happy about the whole ordeal, but that he didn't want to forget it. He wanted to embrace it. Grif knew what Simmons wanted. He knew what he wanted. Yet still, he threw all of his chances away. All because of his stupid concerns.

"Oh no. I think they found someone!" He heard Donut half-whisper.

"Who?" Grif stepped closer.

Donut paused. "...Simmons"

"What!?" Grif snapped. He pushed Donut out of the way and tried to hear through the door himself. He did not like what he overheard one bit...

"SURGE! SURGE!!! I FOUND THE NERDY ONE!" The Caboose-like one said perkily.

Grif heard Surges footsteps. No doubt walking over to where his friend was. "Good spott'n Loco" Surge cackled. "Hey, you! You're that Simmons one aren't ya?" Grif could even imagine the unnerving smile that was being brought with that sentence. "Where is that pink one? And the brown one?" Grif heard a gun be loaded. His back arched. He was so close to opening the door and punching those two in the face.

"W-what? Donut? Lopez?" Simmons confused voice piped in. "I don't know where they-"

"Liar!" Loco accused. "Tell us where your buddies are!"

"I don't-please just... let me go. I won't tell anyone i swear! Just-" Simmons was breathing quickly. Voice shaky. It sounded like he was holding back tears. Grif knew what was going on. He was having a panic attack. "Why are y-you even doing this? What did we do... i don't under-understand" He took breaks to catch his breath. "Please... let me live. I c-can help you! Just-don't hurt my friends"

"Heh" Surge said. "Too little too late, son"

"What?" Simmons was puzzled.

"Half of 'em are already dead!" Loco announced excitedly. "We put them in the armor locky-thingy!"

"Y-you di-no..." Simmons was definitely crying now. "Why?"

"You don't need to know" Surge answered harshly. "Now, die"

Without a second thought, Grif slammed the door open and shot Surge through the back of my head. Loco jumped with fear before running away. Grif had no time to get him. All of his attention was focused on Simmons. "Simmons! Holy shit! Are you okay?" Simmons wiped his tears away. He stared at Grif for a while. "Its me, dude. It's me. You're safe no-"

Now, Grif expected a lot of things to happen at this moment. None of them were for Simmons to punch him in the face.


	2. Step 2, Act How You Usually Do! (But Everyone Else Is Acting Unusual!?!)

“Ow! Holy Shi-what the FUCK, Simmons?” Grif glared.

All of his excitement to see Simmons after so long apart soon evaporated into confusion. Why had Simmons hit him? And so fucking hard too… Grif honestly didn’t know the red-head had it in him. After realising there was no blood, he took a deep breath. He looked back at Simmons. The red-head had his arms crossed and he was looking in the opposite direction. He was breathing heavily.

Simmons turned back to face Grif slowly. He sighed. “Why the fuck are you here, Grif?” He said coldly. Angry gaze never faltering. Grif hadn’t seen Simmons act so brave. Sure, he knew deep down that Simmons was probably internally freaking out about all of this… but he was doing a damn good job at hiding it. Now, _that_ was something to be proud of. “Grif, I said why are you here!” Simmons called again, frustration showing.

Grif smirked. “I came to save all of your asses” He answered nonchalantly.

“Yeah?” Simmons faked a smile. “Well, you sure did a fucking great job” He said through gritted teeth. “Everyone’s dead…” He looked down at the ground. “Everyone…” He mumbled quietly. His hands were shaky. Grif went to hold Simmons, but he was pushed away. Not by Simmons, but by Donut. The pink soldier then went to hug Simmons himself.

“G-Grif, don’t-“ Simmons paused. “Donut?” He looked relieved. For the first time since Grif had seen him, Simmons was smiling. “Y-you’re okay! I knew that-t-they said it but… I didn’t know if they were lying or…” Simmons began rambling excitedly. “I’m just-this is so…”

Donut patted him on the back. “Yep. I’m okay, Simmons” Donut comforted. Grif felt a hint of jealousy. “And i’m not the only one!” Donut revealed excitedly.

“Hello.” Caboose poked his head out from behind Grif. Simmons raised an eyebrow. “I am okay”

“Wait… Caboose fucking survived?” He asked through held back laughs. However, they were far from being ill-intended. Simmons was just downright happy. “Oh thank-I thought I was the only one” He stated.

Donut shook his head. “Nope. It might not just be us, though” He pointed out. “No-one has seen LoLo yet, aside from Caboose. Apparently he’s looking for me” Donuts cheeks reddened.

“Of course he is…” Simmons rolled his eyes, smiling.

Grif blinked. “Hold on, I thought he hated us. Why would he be looking for him?” Grif couldn’t help but ask.

Simmons scoffed. “You would know if you hadn’t left us” He muttered. Grif visibly deflated.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Donut came in between the two. He cocked an eyebrow at Simmons. “Now, Simmons… is that anyway you should treat someone who came back to save us?”

“I… no-I guess not” Simmons said softly.

There was an unnerving silence afterwards.

That was, until they heard a familiar monotone voice call out to them. [Donut!] Donut turned around and smiled. He saw Lopez walking over. [Idiot, I have been looking for you everywhere. Where the fuck were you hiding?] He scolded.

“Oh…” Donut frowned. “I-um, _wasn’t_ hiding Lopez. They uh, caught me. Put me into armour lock” The blonde informed. Lopez’s eyes widened. He furrowed his brows. His eyes glowing with a red tint. “It’s okay Lolo! Grif rescued me. Besides, we chased off those meanies for now. You don’t have to take ‘care’ of them” He winked. Lopez seemed relieved. He walked up to Donut and began holding him tightly in his embrace. “Heehee, oh Lolo!”

Grif blinked. “What the fuck?” He questioned. “Lopez? Hugging? I mean-just…” Grif was positively dumbfounded. “What the hell happened when I was gone?”

“A lot of things, fat-ass” Simmons retorted harshly. “A lot of things…” He repeated, much quieter.

Lopez stopped hugging the blonde and looked up at the two. [Why is that bitch here?] He said, eyes focused solely on Grif.

“He came to see u-“ Donut stopped himself from continuing. He sighed. “He came back to get some Oreo’s from Sarge that were taken before we left” He told bitterly. There it was again. Grif thought. That angry tone… it was so unusual, even though it was happening again. Donut just didn’t seem like the type. “But, that doesn’t mean he can’t help us” Donut stated, facing Lopez. No doubt trying to ease the robot away from killing the Orange soldier upon sight. “We could really use bigger numbers”

[I understand that] Lopez agreed grumpily. [But he is still an asshole]

“He is, Lo” Donut kissed the robot on the cheek. “Don’t think i’ve forgiven him just yet” Grif froze.

“So, Donut” Simmons started, kicking at some dirt on the bases floor. “How are we going to get off this planet?” He asked weakly.

Lopez pointed at the left side of the base. They all turned. It was a large door. [I saw some ships in there. We could use them and go to Chorus. I suppose the orange idiot can help us there. He’s the only person here who knows how to drive. I could do it, but unless Donut tells me too. I wan't that Orange fucker to do something. Also, Sarge does too, but-] Lopez paused. Donut then patted him on the back, comfortingly. [I’m pretty sure you’ve already come across his fucked up corpse] He muttered.

“Well, um…” Donut gave a weak smile. “That sounds like a great plan! C’mon guys. Grif, you’re driving-“

“Do I have to?” Grif groaned.

“Yes” Donuts answer was quick, firm and threatening. Grif didn’t understand. This was how he usually acted. Why was he getting such a different response then he normally did? He was doing the exact same thing after all. “Now, let’s go!” Donut urged. “I dibs back-seat. I always handle the rear” He saluted.

They then began working to the room. They entered the door and saw the ship. It was relatively large, so it would fit them all, but it was a very new sight to Grif. How the heck was he going to drive this?

“Cupcake man!?” Caboose called out.

“Yes Caboose?” Donut grinned.

“Instead of Grif, can I pilot the ship?” He asked brightly.

Donut thought for a moment. “Well, I don’t see a problem with that! What do you think, Lo?” He looked over at the Spanish speaking robot beside him. “I personally think it's a great idea!” He beamed, enthusiastically.

Lopez arched an eyebrow at him. [Seriously?]

  
“Okay-um, no Caboose piloting, Donut…” Simmons intervened. “Remember that incident with the tank?” He reminded.

“Oh yeah!” Caboose perked up. However, he soon frowned. Tears (Tears!? Grif couldn’t believe this… Caboose was crying!?) rolled down the brunettes cheeks and he wiped them away. “Church…” Was all the blue soldier said afterwards.

“Oh my-Caboose-i’m so-“ Simmons jumped with shock at his own words, instantly feeling bad. “I’m sorry about bringing Church up-I didn’t mean to just… argh, fuck!” Simmons cursed at himself. “I know what you had with Church was special, and we know he deeply cared for you more then anything else-“

“Yeah. The kind of ‘care’ that involved shouting swear words at him” Grif snorted.

“GRIF!” Simmons furrowed his brows at the orange soldier. Caboose started sniffling. “Why the fuck would you say that!?” He scolded.

“That's how we usually talk to each other!” Grif stated. “Why would now be any different?”

“BECAUSE THINGS CHANGED WHEN YOU WERE GONE!!!” Simmons screamed back. Grif stared at him and took a step back. The red-head took a deep breath. “We all thought we were going to die. Some confessions were made-“ He eyed Donut and Lopez as he spoke those words. “-and some secrets were told. We found out more then we knew before about each other. We became-“

“What?” Grif gave him a quizzical look. “Bonding buddies? ‘Cause it sounds like you are just describing a really successful sleepover”

Simmons clenched his fists. “We became better friends, Grif” He said coldly. “And we..." He pointed over at Grif then at himself. "...became not-friends” He added.

“Huh?” Grif's eyes widened. “Not-friends?”

Simmons eyes grew watery and he turned around, storming onto the ship before the group. Lopez put an arm around Donuts shoulder to urge the blonde not to follow him. [I think he would like to be alone right now, Amore. Understand?] He said in his normal monotone voice, but Grif sensed something. He sensed not pity-but kindness for Simmons in the robots words. It was odd to say the least.

“I u-understand” Donut replied hesitantly. “Even though when we shared everything during Temples attack, he claimed he was letting it all out I think-“ He shut his mouth as soon as his eyes hit Grif's direction. “Y'know what?" He sighed. "Let’s just get onto the ship. You mind driving?” Donuts words were met by a re-assuring nod from Lopez. “Gracias cariño”

The two entered the ship after Simmons. Grif and Caboose shared a quick, awkward look. Caboose had tears still remaining under his eyes. Grif felt guilty. Really guilty. “Dude, i’m-“ Grif paused. He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry but if you don’t mind me asking, what did you and Church have?”

“Well there was…” Caboose choked on his words. “T-this” He showed off his gun.

“Your… gun?” Grif raised an eyebrow. “You get that in basic training. How does that involve Chu-“ He stopped talking when he noticed a particular thing-almost looking like scratches- coating the weapon. Grif eyed it for the longest time, mouth agape. They were words. Old and covering the whole thing. Like it had been there for the longest time. How was he just now noticing this? He read it in his head.

‘ _To Idiot. Happy Valentine's Day or whatever. We have no paper so I'm writing on your fucking gun. That way, I'll always be with you? God, that sounds so shitty. And cheesy. Like holy fuck! I mean, it is Valentines Day. That kind of shit is to be expected I guess. The chocolates were nice. You’re nice too, I guess and we'll, listen please. Whenever I SAY that I hate you just know that I don’t mean it, okay? I just get frustrated. We all do. You can be quite the fucking pain sometimes._

_Like that time when you tried to make me bacon and eggs… that fire was fucking huge, I swear. Now if blue base has a fire we have no fire extinguisher. Hence, why you are NEVER allowed in the fucking kitchen EVER again. Unless it's pancakes though… I mean, those are fucking good. Don’t know why that's the one meal you never seem to fuck up. Something about your cousin teaching you that? Who cares._

_Anyways, buddy, it’s Valentine's Day so I guess I have to tell you the truth (being your boyfriend and all) blah, blah, blah. I love you. Now, DON’T GO AROUND TELLING PEOPLE THAT._

_EVER_.

_Especially Tucker…_

_We know what that fuckers like. Always sneaky. He’ll probably tease me about it or blackmail me. Oh shit, what would he blackmail me with? Shit. He’ll probably want the fucking sniper rifle! Yeah, well he can’t have it. Not like you could prove I said anything._

_No offence._

_So_ , _yeah. I guess I love you. I, uh… fuck you for making me feel that way, moron. Is that what boyfriends say? What can I do? Usually don’t swing this way man. Just, something about you… it's hard to explain. You made me forget her for once. Our baggage. It's nice. Your nice. She's not. In fact, she fucking sucks. By the way, never tell her I said that. I'd never hear the end of it._

_Gotta go, Tucker won’t leave me alone about what the fuck i’m writing. Bye, idiot._

P.S. _Could we kiss again? Not being desperate! Just that Kiss under that stupid mistletoe (did it have to be there when we were standing under it? I mean, can’t complain. I owe it a lot actually. I owe it you after all) was pretty fucking nice. Your pretty good at kissing too! ~~Where’d ya learn that? You’re cousin too? Wait, that sounds like incest. Holy shit!? Did I really just write that. WHY am I still writing? Fuck this enitre paragraph~~_ _ ~~.~~_

_Wait, Tuckers gone. Fuck that. I'm continueing. Got too much shit to say, anyways. Let's start with-_

There was more to it, Grif knew. It looked to be extremely long. He couldn't see the rest due to the angle he was viewing it from. A lot of the words were ‘I love you too’ and shit-boyfriends? Grif never would have even thought…

He stopped thinking as soon as Caboose walked away from him; entering the ship quietly.

Grif followed close behind. Man…

…so much had fucking changed while I was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Changed chapter ones name. Just thought this fit the bill a little better. Side note; extended story. Didn't think I could fit everything I had planned in just three mere chapters :D
> 
> Thanks for reading and please leave a comment!


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